My Heart Is Broken

In the summer of 2008, a beautiful tabby kitten came into our lives. A co-worker of Dave's at the time found him wondering around the parking lot of the bank. She's highly allergic to cats, so she couldn't keep him herself, but she also couldn't just leave him there. She decided to bring him to us, and even though we had five indoor cats, we just couldn't say no. We named him Max. We loved him, nurtured him, and watched him grow into the almost 17 pound mega cat he is today. He was always happy, playful, and very affectionate. I loved to call him my gentle giant, because that's what he was.

Then, after two years, a horrible thing happened. Annie, one of my original two cats became fearful of him, after he decided he liked to chase her. At first, I didn't think much about it, because she's always been more skittish than my other cats. I never, even for a minute thought he'd actually hurt her, and I still believe if she'd just learn to stand her ground, he'd grow bored and leave her alone. She never did get past her fears. We took her to see our vet to make sure she was healthy, and she was put on valium. She has been on valium going on her third week with little progress. She has come out a few times, only to be chased back in. I really don't understand this, because Max gets along fine with the other cats.

We made an appointment for Max to get a full check up, and discuss the possiblility of drug therapy for him. I don't like the idea of pumping my cats full of drugs to make them get along, but I didn't see that I had another choice...Then a strange thing happened. I was on the phone with Norma, and during the course of the conversation, she told me that her sister-in-law had offered to take Max. She had been looking for a companion for her cat with no luck, and was willing to give him a try. I sounds like a no-brainer in hindsight, but at the time, all I could think about was how much I would miss my big lug of a cat. We took Max in for his appointment today, and after discussing everything with our vet, Dave and I decided to forgo the drugs, and give Max to Sis Jo Anne. She came and got him around noon, and I'm sitting here missing him more than I ever thought possible. Please, don't misunderstand me. I'm not worried at all about how he'll be treated. I've known Sis Jo Anne all my life, and if he had to go, I can't think of a better home for him. She'll take excellant care of him...I just miss him. I feel his absence so much it's like I can actually touch it. I know we made the right decision, but I just wish it didn't hurt so much...

Dear, Father, I need you so much right now. I'm completely broken, and can't understand why this had to happen. I know you could have healed the rift between Max and Annie, and turned things around. You chose not to do it that way. Please, don't allow me to let bitterness set in. Thank you for Sis JoAnne, and providing this new home for Max. Please, cause him to settle in quickly, love her, and befriend her cat instantly. Please, cause him to be happier than he's ever been. Please, take care of him, Lord. Father, I ask for peace and strength for the days ahead. I just gave up one of my cats, Lord. I can't believe I just gave up one of my cats. Please, Father, I beg you... Please don't let it be for nothing...