Supporting My Habit

When Dave first told me he no longer had his second job, and we were going to have to budget our money more carefully, I whole heartedley agreed with him. I still do, even when it's hard. As most of you know, I have a very serious Diet Coke habit. I honestly don't know how many I drink per day, but I know I'm never without one. I had quit twice. The first time, I was trying to lose weight and live a healthier life, and the second time I quit them, because I began to feel guilty for starting them back. Both times, I actually stayed soda-pop free for years before starting them back. Of course when I did start drinking them, all the guilt returned. Finally, one day, while in the middle of degrading myself, I thought, "what's wrong with me? It's diet coke, not a drug habit. Why torture myself with guilt?" After that day, I finally decided to just accept that I'm a diet coke drinker, and it's no big deal (nor is it the health and diet industy's business). For the first time in my life, I could fully enjoy a diet coke with no guilt. Well, after Dave and I sat down to figure out what we were our money on, and how we can tighten our budget, we found out something alarming. Since I started back drinking sodas, we've been spending over $100 a month on diet coke. That's not even counting the happy hour drinks I get every day ($30 per month). I guess I should have been feeling guiltier. I know after seeing the numbers, I should be shamed into not wanting them anymore, but people, this is hard. In fact, I haven't fully given them up yet. Twice a week, Dave gets paid from the radio station. He takes out an allowance for him, and one for me, and the rest goes into the household money for bills, food, and such. Last month, I bought my cokes with my own money. I even bought some 2 liter bottles to see if I could afford it that way. I have cut back some, but I guess not enough, because I simply don't have enough money to support my habit, and I don't want it coming out of the household money. It looks like if I want to have any spending money at all, I'm going to have to give up my diet cokes again, because I seem to be incapable of cutting back on the amount I drink. Friday, I get another allowance, and I probably will buy some cokes. I know I'm going to have to quit, but I just am not ready yet.