I haven't posted much lately, and there's a reason for that. I want my blog to be pleasant, and fun to read, instead of a dark, dreary place to be avoided. This isn't always easy for someone who battles depression. On the other hand, I want to be honest with my readers. I think all of us go through periods of emotional pain, and nobody is fooled by a sunshiney-fake post. I normally focus on my hobbies (gardening, knitting, etc..) and the things Dave and I do together. This allows me to get caught up in telling a story, distracting me from my tortured thoughts, even if just for a moment. Lately, my blog has been silent, simply because of my emotional state. I just don't have the energy to focus lately...
As I've mentioned in earlier posts, February was a very painful month: my uncle's death, my brother-in-law's death, and the death of a family friend. These all happened so fast (within two weeks), that I barely had time to mourn one death before the next one occurred. To make matters even worse, I got sick with a virus, shortly after the funerals were over. I was still in a weakened emotional and physical state, when we found the body of my cat, Socks, in a neighbor's yard. That was the final straw that sent me spiraling into the deep depression that still oppresses me to this day. This brings me to the story that is the reason I'm writing this painful, but honest, post...
A few days before we lost Socks, Dave was called to play Judge Gaffney in our local theater's production of Harvey. I went with him to the first couple of rehearsals, but after we lost Socks, I was in such a fog that I stayed home for most of the others. It wasn't until the opening week that I began to accompany him again to the theater. Harvey provided a welcomed distraction during the day. Nights were harder, but manageable. As I got to know Dave's cast mates, I began to enjoy the rehearsals. The final show was Sunday, as I stated below. We stayed to help break down the set, then a small group of us met for dinner and more laughter and stories. I came home and got ready to meet Kim for our daily walk. I was in a happy light-hearted mood. This was a feeling I hadn't experienced in two months, making me optimistic that I was finally moving past my grief. This feeling was not to last...
During the first lap of our walk, Kim and I found a severely injured cat in the middle of the road. We couldn't just leave it there, so Kim suggested we wrap in a towel and take it with us. If we couldn't get a vet to see it, she'd care for it during the night hours until a vet's office opened. I called Dave to see if he'd bring us a towel, and as I was talking to him, the cat hissed, got up and hobbled to a storm drain, and jumped down inside. We were just dumbfounded that it could walk in the condition it was in. We completed our first lap, then stopped by her house to get a flashlight and a towel, before beginning our second lap. Our plan was to try to coax the cat out of the gutter, so Kim could take it home and care for it. It wouldn't come out. We tried to comfort ourselves with the fact that at least it was out of the street and out of danger from cars, and maybe it could spend it's last moments of life in peace. Needless to say, I spent the rest of my evening in tears, but I did managed to sleep. Today, we took the flashlight with us to check on the cat. Very much to our surprise, it was still alive! Not only that, it scurried away when we shone the flashlight in. We finished our first lap, then stopped by my house to get some canned cat food, and a towel. When we got back to the area, Kim climbed down into the storm ditch, but the cat was in a tunnel out of reach. We left the food. We plan to keep trying, but I don't know if we'll succeed. It's still in very poor condition...
So I'm back to feeling worried, depressed, and emotionally weak. It seems like when I finally start inching my way out of this dark place, something happens to slap me back down. Please pray for this little cat. It survived the night, and I want it to make it. There's just been too much death lately.
It's pretty hard to see, but among the flowers of this blue salvia plant is a bumble bee in flight. I've always had a fear of bees (especially big bees), but I've grown to accept them since I started gardening. Still, old fears are hard to completely get over. You should have seen me trying to snap this shot while, at the same time, dodging the bees.
Here is a shot of another bee, drinking nectar from a hyssup plant. At least, I think it was hyssup. They had several different salvia-looking plants right together, and the bees were all over them.
This last picture is my favorite. Posted to the stem of a beautiful yellow rose tree, was a sign that read, "cardinal's nest: Four eggs." We leaned in for a closer look to find four baby cardinals, completely hatched and sleeping. I took this one picture, but not knowing much about baby birds, I didn't take any more. I was afraid I might scare them.
I just love it when I find just the right spot for a plant. :)
My Joseph's coat bush (left) wasn't chosen. "why?" you might ask. Since the Joseph's coat produces blooms that change color as they mature, you'd think it would be perfect for a multi-color rose garden. You'd normally be right, but I had to plant the orange rose at the side of the house into the bed, because it's pot was broken along the top. Since the Joseph's coat's pot was intact, and orange is one of the color stages of it's blooms, that would have been too much orange together in the same bed. The rosebush on the right (not sure of the variety) produces white roses, and also has a broken pot. I so badly wanted to include it in the bed, but it is just so big. When we moved it over to where we had placed the sellected roses, it just overshadowed them. 
This last photo is a beautiful, climbing variety that produces an explosion of buds that bloom into small, sweet-smelling pink roses. I had moved this pot over to the side, where the orange bush originally sat, and liked it so much, I decided to leave it there. It is my opinion that this gorgeous plant is more than able to stand alone.
Dave incorporated the peat moss, placed each pot in the order I wanted them to go, then began planting them.
As you can see, Dave actually did most of the work, but I did pot up my tomato plants, and transplant the vinca I'd placed in the pots with some of the roses. He also needed me to remove the pot as he lifted up each rose bush..So I really did more than just instruct and boss.
After the last bush was removed from its pot, it was time for me to meet Kim for our walk. I was feeling guilty about Dave having done most of the work, so told him to just rest, and I'd set the edging bricks when I got back. As you can see in the next photo, he didn't obey me. Oh well...I'm sure I'll make up for it and disobey him someday. 
And there you have it! A couple of the plants will need to be staked, but overall, I think it's beautiful. I have three more rose bushes, but I didn't want to chance planting them so close that some of them would die. I left them potted for now. One bed digging per season is quite enough for Dave. :)
